Today I was pondering building my own fairy tale castle. I’m no architect, but if I were, what would I have to include to make my own fairy tale castle? I decided to look up the definition to find out just what constitutes a castle. Online, it states a castle is “a large building or group of buildings fortified against attack with thick walls, battlements and towers.” Ah, yes, the towers! My favorite part of castles. But we’ll get to that in a moment.
First, let’s look closer at some of those other parts. Large, the definition said, it has to be a large building or group of buildings. I am not opposed to large, but my own dwelling is not really what you would consider large. I will first have to find somewhere with enough space to build a large building. Personally, I also think a castle should be somewhere up high. Looking over all the realm and all that. This might be a little tough as I don’t really know of any large plots of land on the tops of mountains up for sale at a good, cheap price.
But let’s move on. I will also have to fortify it against attack. Yes, this is where the planning gets good. I really like the spiked castle in ABC’s “Once Upon a Time”. Now that is some good fortification. I mean, how do you even attack something that solid and slick-looking with no windows. To me, it looks like it must be built of obsidian. Obsidian. Hey! Obsidian comes from lava, which comes from volcanoes, and volcanoes are basically big mountains.
I’m forming a plan here. I need to find a volcano-top for sale. Cheap. Also, it needs to have an ample supply of obsidian. Now, I need that architect to help me with the floor plan. Although the “Once Upon a Time” castle doesn’t seem to have an outer wall, I think I want one for my castle. And don’t forget the drawbridge! Oh, yeah. That means the mountaintop/volcano should also have some sort of water source for a moat.
And the towers! The towers must be ultra-high! And pointed! And . . . And . . . And . . .
Okay, hang on. Let me take a breath! It’s all too exciting. Planning my own fairy tale castle. Even if it does only exist in my mind. Where was I?
Oh, yes. I need a volcanic mountaintop on which to build my castle out of black, glassy, hard obsidian rock. The outer walls will be made of obsidian, as well, and will taper off to sharp points, making it impossible to climb. Of course there will be a moat with a drawbridge, too. And if the moat could be formed of liquid lava because this castle shall sit atop a volcano, all the better.
Now, on to the towers!!! The fairy tale castle towers shall reach far, far, high up into the sky. And to reach the towers? Why a long, long, long spiral stairway of course. Long and thin like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Except far taller. And made completely of that slick black obsidian glass. Four windows shall there be at the top of each tower. One facing each of the main directions. To the east, a window flat on the bottom and rounded on top to symbolize the sun and its rising. To the west, a window flat on the top and rounded on the bottom to symbolize the sinking of the setting sun. To the south, a window in the shape of the crescent moon to symbolize the rising of the moon in the night sky. And to the north, a window in the shape of a star to symbolize the north star found in the night sky to guide us on our way. I think that there shall also be four of these ultra-tall towers. Again, one for each of the four main directions.
And now on to the Grand Hall or Ballroom. First, the entrance to the Grand Hall shall be tall and rounded at the top and inlaid with gold and silver. On the far opposite end of the hall, but facing the doors shall be three steps up to a level on which the throne shall sit. Or, in my case, it could remain empty and serve as a stage for whatever dance performance I happened to want to throw up there! The ceiling shall be domed, high, and painted with a starry night sky.
Argh! It seems my time here is up, and I am being called off to help out with the dishes. If there’s anything I don’t want to plan in my fairy tale dream castle, it is the kitchen. I will let the architect deal with that detail. And while he’s at it, maybe he can hire me some kitchen help so that I never have to think about dirty dishes ever again . . .
How about you? What would your fairy tale dream castle be like? Leave your comment by clicking the comment cloud at the top of this post and tell me all about it.